What's In a Name?

Fear not citizens of the fantasy world, your King is back! After a 6 week hiatus, perhaps a bit more, the most electrifying manager in fantasy sports has decided to once again grace the pages of his hallowed grounds again. I know everyday that you throw your pathetic body to the ground as you drop to your knees, no this is not another joke about Geoff's mom, and put your grubby little palms together, look up to the almighty and say, "God, please give Bert the strength to blog today. He is so miraculous and wonderful, so powerful and wise, I need his knowledge, wisdom, and all around good humor to get me through the day. After he embarrassingly whipped up on all of us weak, frail, incompetent fantasy managers, he has not blogged about it. No insight, not even his customary rubbing it in our lame, dull, moot faces."

Well, your prayers have been answered!

We Are Who You Thought We Were! What a team, what a name. But, what's in a name? Well, the name of my team said it all. Here we are on the crisp of what is the NFC and AFC Championship games. Arguably, in years past these two games have been better than the world's most watched program, the Super Bowl! Like this past fantasy season, there were underdogs, there were powerhouses, and then there were those teams that you just knew were going to be there in the end. Well, folks I ask again, what's in a name?

If we may see how the season played out and how the boys from Bertropolis were able to take down an entire league. We'll hit the highlights:

Before week 1 even started there was history brewing, the Mean Street Womb Raiders, last year's runners-up and most wins, longest winning streak (the GD award is named after this hard working, overachieving bunch), and all around satisfying team was dismantled. No more would we hear the girlish screams, the blood curdling, last ditch efforts for mercy being screamed by the competition. The Womb Raiders had invaded their final womb. But like a phoenix, a new team emerged, stronger, more focused, and definitely more electric! The fantasy world was put on its ass as they looked in awe at this marvelous spectacle. The ashes that lay around it were the Womb Raiders of old but they would soon be welcoming new blood as the victims piled up. 9 wins, that was what the Womb Raiders accomplished in the regular season, but they could not win the big one! They took home their division, conference championships but the hunger remained. And then it happened, much to the demise of the Who Run it? league, your very own MUFF (Most Unprecedented Fantasy Footballer) was awarded the first pick of the draft! I did not disappoint. Sure LT didn't have the best season ever, but it was his selection that brought this team together. The selfless number 1 pick stood out on this team and let all the picks that followed know; this is not about a player, its about a team!

Then, after the team's were assembled our very own toothless wonder, Kyle Farrell, made the undubious decision to suggest the Big Guy start a blog! Can you say, "F-O-R-E-S-H-A-D-O-W"!

Week 1) Perhaps the most underachieving team around, Eat Me! fell victim to WAWYTWW. Like the pussy he is, I ate him.

Week 2) The league was given a break as WAWYTWW is given a bye.

Week 3) Dulog's racist team finds a way to beat me with their sprite trickery! Good luck in the playoffs, Dulog, oh wait your team was too awful to make the playoffs! Suck it bro!

Week 4) Bert takes down our fearless league manager in a fiery blaze! What a game, what a game, except for the fact that I won by 23 points! Wow!

Week 5) Just like the dignity of an Indian or Pakistani, I lost it. Praveen used some sort of ancient wisdom to pull a victory out of nothing, I scored hardly any points and blame it all on Gilgamesh.

Week 6) As if the encouragement of creating a blog wasn't enough, Kyle receives the largest ass whoopin' in fantasy history (At the time) 104-58! So what's in a name? Kyle's team was Busch League, and my team, well Were Are Who You Thought We Were! This won't be the last time these two teams meet.

Weeks 7 & 8) Bert's first and last losing streak! These are the losses that triggered the greatest streak and postseason fury ever! I thank both teams, you gave me the motivation to press on and realize my potential. Over the next 8 weeks, I would lose only 1 game!

Weeks 9-13) Total Domination! Every woman and child having any relation to the teams that fell victim all became pregnant instantaneously after their respective, using the word lightly, teams losses.

Playoffs Week 1) Perhaps the greatest single performance in fantasy history! Let's take a trip down memory lane! I'm sitting at home, I'm doing the math. I need 31 points to pull out a victory over the PrimeTime Playaz, and I have one player: Antonio Bryant. Famous for having a bad attitude and mediocre seasons, very unlike anything the Big Guy's teams are known for, I almost need a miracle. Well the clouds opened, the light shineth down, and the good Lord he sayeth, BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!!!!!!!! Bryant has the game of the year, scoring me 34! 3-4! points, turning in the greatest comeback, performance, and most likely to be a Big Guy fantasy pick ever! Giving life back to the life support ridden team!

Playoffs Week 2) Snooze fest, Hummel wins 90-51, wow! The fake BWeezy, loses to the manager formerly known as BWeezy by 39 points! Bring on the Super Bowl!

Playoffs Week 3, SUPERBOWL) As team Busch League rolls itself into the final round it finds a brick wall waiting. What's in a name? Well, as if foreshadowing, as if comebacks, as if a BLOG and a week 6 beat down were not enough for you to turn in to this game, then you do not have a pulse! I said earlier there exists games in which you look back and say, that should have been the Super Bowl, those were two evenly matched teams, I am satisfied. This was not one of those games. I said earlier that Kyle was on the bad end of an anal scoreboard raping, losing 104-58, that's 46 points! Pretty bad, well this game was one for the ages as the most electrifying team in fantasy football forever synonymous with Greatness poured out its best performance ever! Ever! Kyle lost 106-48! 58 points! In a championship game! What a loser, what a loser! IDIOT! I beat him by more than he scored! So weak, so weak! I actually even heard that Liz might divorce him or get the marriage annulled because she was so ashamed. God Kyle, I beat you worse than any hockey puck ever has...well let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

And so I ask you again, what's in a name?

You all knew I would be crowned victorious, it was a matter of time, after competing for the football title last year and then the baseball title the following year, this time the shoe fit! I was the bell of the ball, the engine that could, but all you were knew that and were left to say, "They were who we thought they were." That is what's in a name!