I know what you're thinking, "This headline must be a ruse, Bert could never get injured. He's 10 feet tall and made of bulletproof steel!" Well, while most of that is true, it is not I that am injured, but my beloved fantasy footballers. You see my friends, Willie Parker has been out for a few weeks, LT has yet to be his incredible self, DAMN YOU CAMPBELL SOUP, DAMN YOU, and on Monday Night as we all watched with anticipation to see if Jay Cutler, Michael Pittman, and Wes Welker "Texas Ranger" could pull of the amazing comeback; both of the beloved Broncos went down with injuries. IN THE FIRST 5 FUCKING MINUTES!!!! To add salt to my wounds, Wes Welker has an amazing punt return, which I see no points for, that sets up Randy Moss's beauty of touchdown catch. Great for the Patriots, doesn't really effect Bert right? Wrong, Syeth "Boy of Wonder" Weldon decided to go against his better judgment and actually select a productive wide receiver. Damn you Boy of Wonder! Then on another play, the fearless boys for Chowda Land, decide to run a screen, with a beauty of a block by my own Wes Welker, to Randy Moss! Thanks to Welker "Texas Ranger" the Patriots go up by another six points and the Boy of Wonder puts our little fantasy match up to rest. Oh, and Jay Cutler's injured finger results in two ridiculously bad thrown balls and lead to interceptions. Thanks Jay, you're a real gem of a QB! Well, I'm done bashing my own team now lets move on to someone else.
Geoff's sister Leslie "Louder than a Church" Bell called me this week trying to get my email address. "Why?" I asked. Well, it turns out that Leslie, who is the dominant sibling in the Bell family and perhaps in the household all together, has a video from Geoff's youth. It is a must see she told me. As it turns out, Geoff as a little kid is just as nerdy and awkward as Geoff as a bigger kid. There was a video game released years ago for the Dreamcast system, I had never played it, that was called HALO. Unbeknown to all of us living in Georgia, this game was quite a hit. You see, Geoff was living in Orlando at the time and it seems video games were very popular there so he got a rare glimpse at the Halo series before it was released on our beloved XBOX. Well folks, Leslie was able to successfully upload the video onto the computer. As I go remember if you can't be good, then be good at it. And I leave you with; Geoff as a child:
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