Today
we spell redemption, B-I-G G-U-Y. The word of the weekend is redemption my friends. First it was Saturday afternoon with a ol' fashion UGA buttwhoopin' on them mountain folk, the Tennessee "We'll play anyone at quarterback, seriously we're taking" Volunteers. Your boy was thrown out of the game at the end of the first half for calling a fat bitch...well a fat bitch. But worry not my dear competitors, like a hard cock into a tight sorority girl, I found a way in. Then on Sunday, the Dirty Birds looked down and out after losing a lead which could have been cemented by Jason Elam. Again, no need to fret, Matt "Better than the steakhouse," Ryan's testicular fortitude to stay in the pocket was rewarded with a 26 yard pass. The completion left one...one second left on the clock and enough room for Jason Elam to, "totally redeem" himself! If that isn't the definition of redemption I have no idea what is. But wait, there's more. As if I needed the Monday Night Game to finalize the trifecta, On Monday, the Busch Leaguers proved just that, to be Busch League against the much more powerful and confident We Are Who You Thought We Were! My boys reached the century mark again, and with it will come the greatest winning streak of them all!
I was going to gloat about how badly I whooped Kyle, but then I checked the scoreboard and after a thorough examination I found that Kyle's ass kicking was but a mere after school special compared to some of the other more vile ass kickings this week. I'll start with the Kimbo Slice type knockout and I give you the PrimeTime Playaz over the socially inept Knowshon's Nig-Nogs. Wow, this ass kicked was perhaps the worst of Dulog's life. I'm sure it won't be the last but 63 points! 63! Good Lord almighty Jimmy, thats one point for every inch of shit that God stacked you, you miserably little bastard. I'm not sure which hurt worse, the ass kicking Bachler delivered to you or the fact that the Mutts can't even get a back to back streak going of making the playoffs, much less winning the division. Wow, atleast the Mutts have a streak going of biggest collapses, two straight years. Nicely down boys from Queens, nicely down.
But our beloved Dulog did not even suffer the worst defeat of the week, and quite possibly ever. That honor was bestowed on the bow legged younger brother Syeth Weldon and his mispelled and misled team, BRYDGANG. The Rodney King style beating was the single worst lopsided victory every witnessed in our league and should go down in history as the most pathetic attempt at anything ever, more than Geoff trying to dunk a basketball, Serillo trying to form complete sentences when drinking, ever. 81 point differential! 81! I'm pretty sure most of you cannot even count that high, much less beat a team by that much. Congratulations Murray, hopefully you have successfully beaten the stupid out of Syeth.
But on a lighter note, welcome to the winner's circle Justin. In what has to be the upset of the week, Frankenstein was able to beat the overconfident and plurally challenged Ice Man. Not even Reggie Wayne's big day or Tony Romo's big fantasy day, terrible reality though, could keep Justin out of getting that W. He had three players score in the twenties, and Maurice Jones "Nancy" Drew was the top performer of the week. Savor the flavor you little punk, cause it sure as hell ain't gonna happen again. But Justin I'm still proud of you, it's like when you become a father and you have a son. You try to teach that son to ride his bike without the training wheels. Justin, I've seen you fall and fall and fall and fall without those training wheels on, but every time you've gotten back up, skinned knee, bloody nose, what ever, and you've tried to ride that bike. Well son, you made it, congratulations, you made it. My advice for you, however, is to wear a helmet because I think another fall is coming.
Well, this week I face the team that has managed to score the lowest points all season in our league averaging an abysmal 61 points a game. You're going down Syeth, you and your whole B-Y-RDGANG, not BR-Y-DGANG, B-Y-RDGANG are going down! So please be good, and if you can't be good then be good at it! Boom!
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